using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
