omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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