some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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