sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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