I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
