My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He better not be in your backpack
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
