Whoa Z and x make the same sound
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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