You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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