my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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