In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
