Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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