I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
