so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
