apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
