My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
