Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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