it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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