just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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