Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
