I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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