No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
