idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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