Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
