There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
