my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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