i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
God, you're like boner-b-gone
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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