We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
