Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
