Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
