real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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