Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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