She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
