the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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