seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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