we have officially lost it.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
