I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
