Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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