he shaved USA in his pubs
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize