I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
