Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
