guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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