there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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