I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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