Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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