i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
