so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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