So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
