Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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