You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
