ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
