2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
