His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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