It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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